COCKTALES

Yay! TGIF!!! Not just any friday o, we v got cocktail things tonight. With the way they’ve been going on about how we should walk , write, make ‘n’ pack our hair, eat(how many forkfuls are sufficient per meal and how many gulps, oops, scratch dat, sips per drink), I am so not looking forward to it. But I wee go because I hate hearsay, I hate carrying last and I need to lookulaafu.
Rock ‘n’ republic jeans, check; Rihanna Navy tank top,check; Pineapple sneakers,check. Hmmm, I need to get another Mac signature eyeshadow, d colours I have won’t work for tonight,well… check too. *Thinking, what else… Oh! My cologne has to be on point too oo, boys scarce for here, I must be noticed, I must belong. Lemme check if Tomi’s Paco Rabbane’s One million is remaining, I will blend that with Tosin’s Jlo’s Still plus my Malizia.
Whatelse again *chewing gum in an unlawyerly manner, My hair needs to be made, hmm.. I will borrow Amaka’s Peruvian hair, anything to look fly tonight. Crap! It aint easy making a statement, I know what you are thinking , don’t even ask me where I got my outfit (sharp geh like me). Wait o, I can’t walk all the way from the hostel to the foyer, I need me a ride( that one go hard small o), I’ll just have to stroll to the male hall and let a ‘lucky’ guy take notice of my awesome self and drive me down.
I will be back here to tell u how cocktail went, of course my grandma glasses ll be on so , I don’t miss one bit.
BTW, my male learning colleagues have instructed me to address the ladies on a certain issue that is a major source of grievance to them. NLS Bwari is a home of beauty. I don’t mean the staff(they look good as well) or the infrastructure, I’m talking about ‘beauriful gehs’. Enuf said. Ladies, ‘park well’, ‘sit well’, ‘close ur legs’, you are distracting my brothers, they paid a lump sum to be here and as beautiful as y’all are, I am sure they don’t want to come back for Bar II Part II… Nuff said..
Now, I have to go, Oyinlola Olagunsoye(hereinafter thereunto referred to as OyinDarl) has a question for the lecturer and I have to listen.