Hello everyone, we are gradually approaching the end of what looked like an eternal journey. God kept us through the dinners and long hours of lectures. Through my thick lenses and those of my friends, you have seen just how wonderful this lawyerly journey has been, we aint the same wild eyed young adults we were some months ago, gentlemen and ladies have been birthed.
Just before we say our final goodbyes, Venom is here again. Enjoy.
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You’re booriful…you’re booriful….din din…I saw my face…in a market place…I’m booriful (this is funke akindele’s remix oh, but it suits me just fine). I’ve been humming Jenifa’s latest release since I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. Hmmn, NLS boys ‘will take’ when they see me tonight. (Ok, I need to delete Funke’s repertoire from my mind) not that I know the meaning of repertoire, Duh!!! ‘Whatefer’.
My vanity hormones raging, I step out of the lavatory (that’s the location of the mirror oh, ehn-hen) only to be blinded by the sight of my stunning friends. There’s Bami, cute as a button (this is not about your size oh, boo) and there’s Halima, Damn! that tiny waist does things to my….no homo…and her face keeps blowing my mind (babe, no haughty looks or words here, pls). Aha, Ronnie just takes my breath away in her LBD. She’s like a vision, a rapturous vision. And Ella? Ever seen a water nymph gliding outta the waters? That’s Ella. After taking in this wonderful sight, I immediately begin my own remix…they’re booriful….they’re booriful…more than me…i want to hide my face…in a market place…they’re boo… whatefer jare.
Enough of this jibber-jabber. Lemme not bore you about how we got to the venue of Lawyers must Laugh (hereinafter referred to as LmL) which was the auditorium- southeast pronunciation. I had purposed in my heart to avoid the red carpet. I mean, who needs a carpet to know she’s glamorous? Not moi. But I was in for a shock,where I’d pictured the red carpet would be was overrun with clothes, food and accessories on display. ‘Take deep breaths baby’ I told myself, *heart racing* I finally see the red carpet, AND my dress is bigger than the damn carpet,one foot in front of the other and red carpet is over… I’m in the auditorium.
And the tape begins to run…
I am a hard-boiled cynic. I came, prepared to watch LmL flop, but yours truly was blown away. My first gbwasa (DG’s version of gbosa) goes to Kayode Afouda…boy, I was going to diss your life but you proved your mettle and showed a promising future in comedy. Now I take God beg you, when you leave for attachment, please drop ‘parararara-pororororo’. Don’t you dare come back with that tired call-response,bring something new.
The two guys that sang… I don’t know what to say to you but for OJB’s disciple, a little less screaming will go a long way to advance your music career. As for guitar-man, stick to guitar. Singing aint your thingy, nice rhymes though. Chioma cupcakes, you were/are really here… Wow!!! You’ve got depth, you’ve got soul, and you are music. Debbie darling, please don’t stop singing, the sky is your beginning.
Hmmmn, I don’t even know what to say about the comedians. I’m still bursting at the seams with laughter. Their talent defies definition. MC Longs, Osama and Funny bone, we loved you guys, I still love you. Yes, Bwari babes, don’t mind funny bone jare, about that part where he said Bwari babes’ catwalk translates to ‘any amount’. Na lie. It’s not any amount. I have it on good authority that all you need to do is buy barbecue fish and bingo, the babe is all yours for the weekend and may be even ‘so soon thereafter’. So you see, it’s fish, not any amount.
My 2nd gbwasa goes to Faze. Honestly, I didn’t expect much from him. But he was cute, sweet and down to earth. Sha, I didn’t really listen to the songs, I was busy ogling his lean frame and pretty face…why he ever went for dreadlocks in the first instance beats me. He was really sensational, Twale!!! Faze. You rock.
My Zara models, nice package all in all. It’s a good thing y’all are in law school though, because the some of you will never find fame on the runway. Please stick to the lawyering option.
All in all, I had fun, pure unadulterated fun. It was an evening worth its weight in gold. Even the ice cream sold was delicious, not that chalk drink that was sold during bon-fire last term. Enough rambling already, Bob is here. I bet he’ll do the weekend routine…predictable Bob… now who can I appeal to? *rolling my eyes*.
My 3rd gbwasa goes to Samson Itodo Gyang- that able and worthy leader who put LmL together with the efficient SRC team backing him up. I love you Samson, literally. If I had known, I would have bought you at the valentine auction.
Ha!!! Where do I get the nerves to write these things? So sue me.
Great job Samson…Now tune up, Bob.
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